When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should’t feel that way you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, then you have failed me, strange as it may seem. Listen! All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do-just hear me. And I can do for myself; i’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational. then I can stop trying to convince you and get on with the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear the answers are …