All posts filed under: emotional intelligence

Poetry Friday

The Guest House This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, Still, treat each guest honourably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, 
and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. Rumi    

Why Should We Turn Towards Difficulty?

We all come up against difficulty in our lives. In various forms and guises we’re met with grief, rejection, fear and loneliness, confrontation, difficult friends or work colleagues, decisions and situations that are out of our control (the EU referendum!), the list goes on… Difficulty causes us discomfort, frustration and pain. So our natural response is to turn away from it. We don’t want to feel it, craving something else, something more pleasant. Averting our attention elsewhere and turning away from our problems and difficulties. We don’t want them or to even acknowledge them so we don’t, often fantasising, burying and ignoring them instead. But this aversion starts to inform our lives and dictate our decisions. A person that finds it difficult to be with rejection for example, will do anything to avoid it. Not applying for that dream job, or asking that cute girl at the bus stop out for a coffee. Someone who finds confrontation difficult will allow themselves to be walked all over, never hearing the truth or any constructive criticism. And intimacy? Well that person won’t ever …

Poetry Friday

One for a (hopefully) sunny Bank Holiday! Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle …

Who’s been to the School of Love?

From a young age we’re inundated with ideas about love. From the perfection of Hollywood movies to the romance of classic novels, like sponges we absorb ideals of what the perfect relationship should look like. It is rich with red-hot desire and passion, holds the patience of a saint and the utmost respect. But best of all no matter who or what we are, we all deserve it. In fact, isn’t it our basic human right to experience the ultimate romantic love? True love doesn’t require effort or patience, or a compromise of ourselves. True love just happens, regardless of our own imperfections and selfishness. If it takes work, surely it’s not real? Then at some point along the path to adulthood, a sharp prick bursts our bubble and reality is revealed. Love isn’t easy. It does require effort. A great deal of effort at times. In fact it’s an ongoing balancing act that requires active participation and very clear and concise levels of communication. Like a garden requires nurturing, a loving relationship needs feeding, pruning and …

Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust – Why Every Adult Needs to see the New Pixar Animation

Pixar’s new animation Inside Out is about an 11 year old girl named Riley and five of her emotions – Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. These emotions live in headquarters in her mind influencing her actions, guarding her personality and storing memories. The story sees Riley’s family relocating from Minnesota to San Francisco after her father gets a new job, and the trials and tribulations her emotions go through as she settles into a new home and school life. From Director Peter Docter (Monsters Inc, Up) , “the idea was to portray what happens in the human mind as emotions set in, and depict it through animation.” The subtext is rich with wisdom and repeatedly expresses the rich repercussions determination and positive thinking produce. Yet it also explores the power of sadness and inevitability of growing up. Leaving your childhood self behind and embracing change to allow personal growth and renewal to happen. Inside Out is a poignant, smart and uplifting emotional roller coaster that will make you laugh and cry. An exhilarating battle between Joy and …

Stop OD’ing on Social Media and Boost your Self-Esteem!

We’re all guilty of browsing social networking sites, nosing into other people’s lives from the comfort of our sofas. We see friends quaffing champagne on desert islands, Cara Delevingne backstage at the latest Burberry shoot, exotic weddings in Florence, crazy festival antics at Glastonbury or one of the endless health and fitness bloggers who’s only practised yoga, walked their dog, made a paleo breakfast and applied magazine-perfect make up in time for a selfie, before 6am! But have you ever wondered what these images do our subconscious? What effect constantly comparing ourselves with the lives of our piers – who appear to be having THE best fun, with THE best people, in THE best places – has on our mental health? It knocks our self-esteem that’s what! Because we can’t keep up– we end up feeling boring, unattractive, uninventive and certainly unworthy. Yet like an addictive drug, we’re not prepared to give up this toxic habit. So as an alternative to quitting those voyeuristic tendencies, Technotox has come up with 10 tips to counterbalance any negativity and Boost your Self-Esteem! DON’T EXAGGERATE …

Are You Ready to Make A Change?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson I want to introduce you all to the power of coaching, as I firmly believe each and every one of you would benefit from having a life coach. Contrary to popular belief, coaching isn’t therapy or counselling. Coaches don’t offer advice, nor dwell in the past. Instead, they work with you as an individual, focusing on the whole person, helping to evoke dramatic and permanent change. And create a more satisfying future. I recently trained with the Coaches Training Institute (CTI) which is recognized by the International Coaches Federation. I practice the CTI “Co-Active coaching” method, which involves the active and collaborative participation of both the coach and client in a thought-provoking and creative process. Inspiring the client to maximize their personal potential. It is a proven approach based on CTI’s many years of experience working with clients and coaches worldwide. This method can be applied …

An Inspiring Expression of Man’s Heart and Mind

I often share the words of Kahlil Gibran in my Poetry Friday posts, so today is dedicated to the source of that poetry – his best selling book The Prophet. The Prophet is a collection of 26 essays written in English by the Lebanese artist. A masterpiece, it has been translated into more than 20 languages and is considered one of the most loved classics of our time. Gibran was also a philosopher and each chapter provides us with wise insight on how to approach different aspects of our life. These topics include love, children, giving, work, joy and sorrow, laws, freedom, reason and passion, pain, self-knowledge, teaching, friendship, talking, time, pleasure, beauty and death. It is a profound and spiritual read containing many a simple truth, expressed with poetic fluidity. It is a book that can be read over and over again, or dipped in and out of when inspiration is needed. I would highly recommend you invest in a copy – and another for a friend, because it makes a great present and is certainly a book that needs to be …

The Power of Vulnerability

Vulnerability is a big and powerful topic, yet Brené Brown handles it with simplicity and humour in this poignant TED Talk. A researcher in human connection, Brené talks about shame and fear and their power to stop us from connecting with others. She shares a deep insight from her research – a revelation that resulted in her seeing a therapist for twelve months – and the factors that need to be present for a strong sense of love and belonging to be present in all our lives. It is a wonderful 20 minute talk and if you enjoy it, please share its message with others.

The Art of Letting Go

It’s human nature to attach ourselves to things. People, places, ideas – we grasp at them in the hope of finding happiness. Trying to manipulate each one to fit into our lives just the way we had imagined. But the reality is, this attachment is the cause of our suffering. This clinging to ourselves and an idealised life, sets the path for disappointment and dissonance. We find ourselves in situations we can’t control, meeting people with different perspectives and fighting our own egos in the face of adversity. ‘You can only lose what you cling to.’ — Buddha Letting go is an art form. For the more spiritual or those that lean towards the ‘being’ side, it may come more easily, but for the doers it is incredibly difficult to give up control and the desire to try and ‘fix’ things. So learning takes time and commitment. Here are 6 useful words to aid in your learning – 1. ACCEPTANCE If you find yourself in a toxic situation or conversation, first remove yourself from it and take …