All posts tagged: relationships

Ditch Those Toxic Tech Habits and Become a Better Version of You! 

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Care to admit it or not, we’ve become a nation of tech addicts who spend more time looking at our screens each day than sleeping (on average 8 hours 41 minutes). When the average adult picks up their phone over 150 times a day, it’s hardly surprising that 69% of children say their parents spend too much time on technology. If we look at the building blocks of happiness found in Positive Psychology Professor Martin Seligman‘s PERMA model, we find five key areas we need to nurture and cultivate in order to live our most happy and flourishing life. These are – POSITIVE EMOTIONS ENGAGEMENT RELATIONSHIPS MEANING  ACCOMPLISHMENT So what’s the impact of our technology addiction on each of these building blocks? And how do our digital devices stop us feeling, thinking and experiencing happiness? Let’s take a closer look at what toxic habits we could give up in order to boost our happiness. 1. POSITIVE EMOTIONS (P) You’ve heard it before and yet you continue to watch one last episode of your favourite TV …

Poetry Friday

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When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should’t feel that way you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, then you have failed me, strange as it may seem. Listen! All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do-just hear me. And I can do for myself; i’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational. then I can stop trying to convince you and get on with the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear the answers are …

What Makes you Happy?

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Last night my co-leader Andy and I hosted week one of the Action for Happiness course Exploring What Matters.  An eight week course designed to bring communities together to explore the things that really matter for a happy and meaningful life. The course involves  watching videos, carrying out positive psychology interventions (things proven to make us happier!) along with lots of group discussion and sharing. Backed by the Dalai Lama it aims to spread happiness and joy, starting with individuals within our communities, who commit to doing as much as they can to help others and reduce misery. Each session has a theme based on big questions and last night along with our 20 attendees, we explored What really matters in life? Is it money or success? A thriving family home full of love and support? Or simply safety, warmth and food on the table? One of the first surprising facts we learnt is less than 1% of our happiness is affected by our income (our group guessed 10-25%). This is measured by government polls. So even though the US economy has experienced …

Happy International Day of Friendship!

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Today is the UN’s International Day of Friendship. It’s annually held on 30 July to celebrate friendships worldwide. To mark the day, the UN encourages governments, organisations, and community groups to hold events, activities and initiatives that promote solidarity, mutual respect and reconciliation. But you too can get involved and spread the message of friendship without any prior planning! Remember friendship enriches our lives by increasing our sense of belonging and purpose, boosts our happiness and self-esteem, and is a proven antidote to depression. What other reason do you need to show your gratitude for friendship today? Here are our top 10 ideas: Write a “just because” card or letter and post it to a friend Plan a future date night Make a friend a playlist of your favourite songs and shared memories, then send them the link Pick up the phone and call an old friend – we all too heavily rely on whatsapp and texts nowadays, but there’s something so much more satisfying (and human) about actually hearing their voice Even better, go knock on their door unannounced and …

Be happy. Be productive. Build PERMA.

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We all want to be happy. When we’re happy we look on the bright side of life, take ourselves less seriously, become more motivated, loving, and are generally better people. Scientist know our genes and upbringing influence around 50% of the variation in our personal levels of happiness.  Our circumstances 10%, e.g our income and external environment. Which leaves as much as 40% accounted for by our daily activities – the relationships we keep, the work we do and the choices we make. Our actions strongly impact our happiness levels, which is great news because it means we have great control over them and can therefore almost instantly, boost our happiness. Respected positive psychologist Professor Martin Seligman developed a well-being theory called the PERMA Model. It combines the five building blocks required for a happy and flourishing life. These five blocks are – POSITIVE EMOTION (P) Experiencing feelings of joy, hope, love, inspiration, satisfaction, gratitude or any positive emotion allows us to experience wellbeing. ENGAGEMENT (E) When we’re fully engaged in a challenging task and time seems to stand still, we experience a state of flow (see blog post ‘How do you …

Why do Digital Devices Affect our Happiness?

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Scientists know 40% of our personal happiness levels are accounted for by our daily activities (50% genes & upbringing, 10% income & environment). So our lifestyle, the relationships we have and the habits we keep, significantly affect our happiness. We live in a hectic digital age where it’s impossible to avoid technology; iPhones, laptops, tablets and digital TV are an all-encompassing part of our daily routines. We’re addicted to notifications, checking our phones at any free moment and at the mercy of emails, checking them last thing at night (from our tranquil beds!) and first thing in the morning straight after we’ve switched off the alarm (our lovers don’t stand a chance!). Pressured to ‘show face’ on social media and regularly finding ourselves watch TV whilst navigating multiple Whatsapps and browsing Facebook on our iPads. Like it or not, we are all utterly addicted to technology, in fact, the average smartphone user now checks their phone a whopping 150 times a day! Unsurprisingly, these addictive digital habits are affecting our mental health and suppressing happiness. Millennials are struggling to sleep and suffering …

Who’s been to the School of Love?

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From a young age we’re inundated with ideas about love. From the perfection of Hollywood movies to the romance of classic novels, like sponges we absorb ideals of what the perfect relationship should look like. It is rich with red-hot desire and passion, holds the patience of a saint and the utmost respect. But best of all no matter who or what we are, we all deserve it. In fact, isn’t it our basic human right to experience the ultimate romantic love? True love doesn’t require effort or patience, or a compromise of ourselves. True love just happens, regardless of our own imperfections and selfishness. If it takes work, surely it’s not real? Then at some point along the path to adulthood, a sharp prick bursts our bubble and reality is revealed. Love isn’t easy. It does require effort. A great deal of effort at times. In fact it’s an ongoing balancing act that requires active participation and very clear and concise levels of communication. Like a garden requires nurturing, a loving relationship needs feeding, pruning and …

How Technology is Killing the Japanese Population

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It’s estimated that by 2060 unless something drastic is done to boost the Japanese birth rate, its population will shrink by a third. In the last year alone, it has dropped by 0.17% (215,000 people) – back to a level it was in 2000. This aging population poses a threat for politicians as they’re faced with the dilemma of trying to make sure the dwindling number of young workers are able to pay for the their growing number of pensioners. New breeds of Otaku men are being blamed for the drop in birth rate. Otaku is a Japanese term for people with obsessive interests in anime, manga and computers. Said to be passive and lacking desire, they are a generation of computer geeks who show little interest in relationships and sex. They would rather tune in to their own fantasy worlds and have virtual relationships. Love Plus is a Japanese video game for the pocket-sized Nintendo DS game player that provides virtual manga girlfriends and simulates the experience of a being in a relationship. The girlfriends like …